Gratitude

I have a few minutes in my day to write and I wanted to update this blog. I wish that I had time every day, but most days go by in a flurry of activity and there are so few moments to sit down and gather my thoughts. Today is different. It's Wednesday and the September newsletter is out (all my articles written), the bulletin is done for Sunday, the prayers are written, I have a good grasp of Sunday's lectionary text for my sermon, my house is cleaned and I am actually feeling a little bit settled and good about all that I have done. In the back of my mind I keep thinking, "what am I forgetting?" In pastoral ministry nothing is ever "done" because there is always the next thing.... bulletin, sermon, pastoral care visit, death, birth, wedding, funeral, meeting, meeting, meeting...... And yet, I love it. Even when I feel irritated at the many interruptions, I realize I love what I am doing right now at this time of my life. I also realize I am fortunate to be able to enjoy this. I am doing interim ministry and I am in the "honeymoon" period of grace in the church. People like me and I'm able to be pretty direct because that's my job as interim. My preaching has been going well and I've been preaching without notes for the first time as parish pastor. So far I haven't blanked on a sermon yet!! I used to type out the manuscript, and now for the last few Sunday's have not even typed it out. Part of my desire is to do the study, do the reading and thinking and praying on the Scirpture, and then to trust what I know and the Holy Spirit to guide me. I will make mistakes. Both Sunday services end up with different sermons because I don't follow a manuscript, though they are similiar in content. But part of the reason things are going so well for me at this time of my life is that I have the love and support of a generous and caring husband. A man who loves me, supports me and values me as a person. He is the model of unconditional love in my life - because he accepts me fully as I am. I think it's a challenge to live with such a busy person, with the kind of stress associated with my job, and with my personality of high expectations and perfection. He spends a lot of the time during the week alone and we have dinner together maybe two nights a week. Often I am not home before 9:30 p.m., and then because I am "peopled" out all day long I just want to veg in front of the computer for a scrabble game where I don't have to interact with anyone in person. He loves me and allows me to be me. He isn't demanding and he is always forgiving and accepting. Sometimes I wonder what planet he came from!! But, it is indeed a blessing because he gives me what I need to continue to effectively minister to a busy congregation. He gives me what I need to feel I am a good life partner. He gives me what I need to know that life is too short to be in relationship that isn't lifegiving. Today I am grateful for all the blessings of my life and the goodness of God.