Summer Coming to an end

Can it be that summer is coming to an end already - September 1st is right around the corner and autumn begins Sept. 22nd. This year summer has literally flown by and it has been busier than ever. As a busy pastor I always feel that when summer comes it should slow down because many activities are suspended for the summer. But then again, there are many activities that happen only during the summer. I think it's time to stop deluding myself - this life is a busy, relentless one and if I am going to have time for myself I have to MAKE it! Thus, the focus on conscious self-care. I haven't done well with that this summer and I am recommitting myself to focus on my spiritual needs and intend to find ways to nurture my spiritual self apart from my job. Intention is the key - and then finding some things that nurture me away from the community of faith I serve. Maybe it will get easier because we are finally getting a second pastor on board - our Pastor of Youth and Family ministry begins at the end of September and I am so excited! He's a young man, fairly newly married, and has charisma and sound Lutheran theological grounding. His wife is a teacher and has just begun her job in the nearby school district so they are in the "in between" of leaving one call and beginning another. Both of them are excited about the posibilities here and look forward to establishing themselves in this community. I like them both and look forward to building a strong pastoral team focused on the mission of the gospel. I'm also looking forward to preaching only half the Sundays of the year! I'm thinking also that a vacation in October is in order - time to get away and just relax; read some good novels, take long walks, have great meals with my hubby and spend time just talking and sharing life without all the distractions of the parish. Life is good! I'm enjoying my call and now will enjoy it even more fully with a partner to share ministry with. As this new season change comes it's really a metaphor for my congregation - we are now out of interim and heading into a new season for this church. I pray our leadership is effective and the presence of the Holy Spirit will guide and direct this church toward the fulfillment of the mission of the gospel.

God's faithfulness

I just preached a sermon on Matthew 14:22-33 focused on Peter and the disciples in the storm and early in the morning Jesus comes walking across the water toward them. They're scared - who wouldn't be? Is it a ghost? Even after Jesus assures them it's him, Peter isn't convinced and essentially tells Jesus to 'prove it!' Once in a seminar given by Martha Stortz, professor of religion, she encouraged us to read a Biblical story from the perspective of all the characters in the story. This time I was curious about the perspective of the other disciples. In their minds, Peter wouldn't have been showing great faith - which is traditionally what I've heard about this text. In their experience they are trying to keep the boat from capsizing, they are scared, and they need Peter's help since he is an experienced fisherman. So, might they see Peter's actions as foolish, arrogant, selfish, or even downright stupid? Because if Peter goes over the side of the boat they'll also have to figure out how to fish him out of the sea! I see the action in this text, the faithfulness, on the part of God in Christ - not in Peter's action. God is always reaching to us whenever we are foolish, arrogant, selfish and stupid - God is always saving us. It's is God's action, not ours, and certainly not Peter's that constitutes faithfulness. And then I asked the question, "what happens when the last act of your life is a stupid one?" I proceeded to talk about my nephew Taylor, who died in a car accident - not wearing a seat belt and running a red light. It was stupid of him - and it cost him his life. And yet, Taylor had grown up in the faith, he believed in God, he was baptized, but the last few years of his life he struggled with many things. His faith, his sexual orientation, God, and the feeling he didn't belong and wasn't loved. He was deeply loved! By his family, by his friends and co-workers. Over 500 people attended the wake and funeral. But Taylor didn't love himself and his last act was a stupid one. Yet - God reaches to him and saves him. God draws him into his arms of mercy and grace and loves him so fully now that Taylor has to know he's loved. It isn't our faithfulness that saves us - even when we do our best - but especially when we're at our worst. It is God's love and faithfulness to us that saves us!

Sunshine!

This is the time of year when there is a day of sunshine and warmer temperatures and it feels as if life is new again, or at least it feels like a promise in the air that spring might really come! I feel like I've been "running" since Advent without any time to slow down. We're in the season of lent and moving toward Easter, but I'm feeling kind of tired. I do feel excited that the call committee is working toward the call of two pastors, and though they are early in the process there is light at the end of the tunnel! I came to this congregation a year ago and they have done a good interim process and now are ready to move ahead with the call of two pastors. It's been difficult to be the only pastor in such a busy place, but we wanted to try a youth/family interim position to see if two pastors were really necessary. Two pastors are really necessary! Two pastors will be called; one focused in worship and spiritual care and the other focused on youth and family ministry. The beauty is they will not be senior/associate, but rather a team with neither having authority over the other. Wouldn't it be great to have a youth/family pastor because that was their passion rather than because they are the associate and it's what they have to do? And so, we wait and see what good things will happen in this parish as they go forward and seek two pastors. In the mean time, trying to find time and ways to nurture my own spirituality will be the goal and focus for my life. I find myself feeling sort of depleted right now - hmmmm.... sort of that wandering in the wilderness feeling. How fitting for the season of lent. I'm waiting for the renewal of Easter and the freshness and warmth of spring!

Unexpected Miracle

I've always thought of life as a miracle - or at least I have since the birth of my first daughter. There is something awesome about giving birth and watching a little one grow. My first daughter is now thirty-three with four children, and I have been amazed by the gift of each of them. What a wonder they are - and what a wonder life is! That is even more imprinted in my mind because of the events of the last week. My lovely husband of three years had a heart attack early Monday morning. We are so grateful he is doing so well!! We have become aware and thankful for emergency rooms, helicopters, excellent surgeons and nurses, life saving drugs, and the support of family and friends, and most importantly the reality of God's grace and presence in all aspects of life. Life is truly precious. I have known this through working as pastor, chaplain, and hospice spiritual care coordinator. Somehow, when you come face to face with the possibility of death it becomes even more clear. My bishop called today and during our conversation he reiterated something he had once heard. He said that most of us live with the belief that death is a possibility and life is a certainty, when in reality life is a possibility and death is the certainty. Wow - it is true. How grateful I am today for the possibility of life - for the possibility for more time with my dear husband whose gentle, kind heart is stronger today because of the quick action that saved his life.

Nurturing the Soul

Lately the most powerful messages I feel I am hearing in my life is the need for tending the soul. Not just a general tending of the soul, but a developing of practices for tending the soul. Within congregations we tend to program ourselves to death - spiritual death - because we don't build in spiritual practices. I have been at a week long class on intentional interim ministry and the most powerful part of the week for me has been the morning Bible study experience in small group. I've learned a lot of head knowledge, and have had good interactions with colleagues during the week, but the deepest experience has been the focus on listening to the Word of God. The simple reading of scripture deliberately together, and allowing time to process and then to share. My energy - natural tendencies - are intellectual and interactive, so I have to be deliberate about tending to soul care. And as a pastor, it has become clearer to me over the years that parishioners are not having deep soul tending experiences other than possibly at worship if it is done well. I'm thinking that during Advent I will offer four weeks of "Deepening our Spirituality through Prayer: Waiting on God" based on a lectio divina model, using candlelight, music, scripture, and silence. My desire as theologically trained and interested in spiritual depth seems many times in conflict with what is expected of me as parish pastor or interim pastor. I have the skills to do those things well, but my experience has been that most people seeking spirituality are outside the church and those inside the church aren't as interested in spirituality. Is there something wrong with that? It helped to understand some history that I learned in my conference last week about the establishment of church as we know it and how it needs to change as we head into the future of "post-Christian" society. For me, discerning what God is up to in my life and how I live out my call to serve will be the focus of my own Advent "waiting on God."

Planting the Word

I have been attending a class all week which begins each day in small group Bible study at 8:15 a.m. Now, I have to tell you I am not a morning person - so I've really resisted this time, but I have dutifully risen each morning to attend. Our study is a focused model (African Bible Study) which is similar to lectio divina. I am part of a small table group of six who interact throughout this week together and our relationships deepen throughout the week. My experience is that most of the deepening for all of us happens at this Bible study. What I am always struck with is the way Scripture speaks to each of us where we are - in the midst of our lives and in the midst of what is on our hearts. A Scripture passage is read three times with reflection between readings - and sharing according to specific questions at the end of periods of silence. The whole process takes 45 minutes. Yet, the depth and breadth of the sharing is amazing. The way Scripture informs all of us is varied and wide ranging, and yet as each person shares the connections and understanding deepens and the Word is alive in a new way for all of us. At the end of the sharing time, each of us in the group prays for the person on our right based on the sharing and we end with the Lord's prayer. Wouldn't this be a wonderful model for faith communities? I'd love to give up preaching and break everyone into small groups in order to deepen the community involvement in scripture and in sharing at a deeper level with one another. Obviously, I can't do this, but I am thinking of setting up two different times (during the day and during the evening) during the season of Advent to practice this type of Bible Study together. Don't know how many people might be interested, but it would be a worthy practice to implement. I'd also like to find a small group of folks to meet together with and do this on a regular basis. This study has far and away been the best part of this week!

I Blinked Again!

I did indeed take a vacation - but oh my, where did it go? It was a busy vacation even though it was great!! But, we came home on October 3rd, and it's now the 14th and this is the first chance I have to sit down and write in the blog. Something is definitely wrong with that! One of the main things I feel I need to focus on as I go forward in this interim is balance. I put in many hours in these first six months, and now my goal is to back out of things a little and let the lay ministry fill the gaps. There are so many gifted individuals in this congregation, and it's time for them to step up a little. The more I can let go and back off, the more able they are to see their own capability. We're heading into stewardship this next month, and the committee that has been selected for that is doing such a great job - I am more a consultant to them than a committee member. That's really how church ministry should be. Pastors, in my opinion, spend far too much time in meetings! One of the areas I hope to spend more time is visiting folks in their homes - especially those who don't get to church regularly. It's difficult when I am the only pastor in such a large congregation, but I think pastors need to spend time with the folks who aren't the most obvious. One of the struggles I have with ministry is that as a pastor I want to preach, teach and provide pastoral care. In reality, I spend most of my time in meetings, and in administration of the church. This congregation is taking a good look at what tasks need to be done, and the committee looking at this will make recommendations for future staffing. It's an interesting process and I think a really good one that hopefully will provide some direction for this congregation. I am supposed to have my job description read and revamped by tomorrow so I guess I'd better get to it! Besides that, I don't have my sermon fully thought through. I don't write out sermons any longer, but I do feel I need to think them through completely. It's a challenging and yet growth producing process.