Spring is coming!

50 degrees today and sunny - it is an amazing thing to happen in Minnesota at this time of year, but gives me the excitement I feel each year that Spring indeed is on it's way! It has been raining a lot and most of the snow has been washed away - making way for the greening of the world around us. Of course, other places are green right now - but it's been awhile here. It is only March, and this is teaser weather - getting our hopes up just to see snow usually in the next two weeks or so. But, somehow it's not so hard to bear anymore because you know it won't last. You know that Spring really is around the corner and that the coldest, snowiest, harshest part of winter is over. I wonder what it would be like without these extremes of weather? I just enjoyed San Diego for a week and I wonder what it might be like to live there year round. Do people get tired of nice weather? I know I get very weary of Minnesota winters, and yet I love it in Minnesota. I love spring and the feeling of new life - summer and the lush green - fall and the amazing colors and cool days, but winter isn't my favorite. However, I love how the cycle of the seasons reminds me of all the cycles of our lives. How things never stay the same no matter how good or bad it is in the moment. Would I miss this pattern of season changes? Would I forget the many spiritual lessons this pattern of season changes has taught me and reminded me of? Would I even miss winter if I didn't live here any longer?

Vacation

Today is Sunday and I didn't go to church. Funny, most parishioners probably think that pastors always go to church! But I'm on vacation, and I even need to take a break from going to church. Church for me, or feeding my soul, isn't just dependent on a sanctuary or community of faith. God doesn't just reside within a building on Sunday morning. Walking along the ocean, watching the myriad of people all around me, listening to the sound of lapping water, trees, flowers, mountains, visiting the Japanese Friendship garden and sitting in their meditation space. All of these are things that nurture my soul and don't depend upon my community of faith. I am on vacation and it has been lovely. My husband and I have spent now six days in San Deigo. We did not rent a car. We are not trying to see all the sights - though usually in the afternoon we have gone somewhere - Seaport Village, Old Town, Balboa Park, Horton Plaza, Old Town Trolly Tour, and to a movie. We are not running around trying to see everyone we know. We are usually only out and about for a few hours before we return to our hotel. We sleep, read (I've read four novels), sit in the sun, have coffee, talk and just plain rest! Heavenly. It's a time to refresh and I have needed it! It's the season of lent and it's traditionally time to think about giving something up to focus on our faith and relationship with God. But as a pastor, I give up so much of my life that this lent I gave up a week of work to replenish my soul. This has helped me focus on my faith and God's love more than giving up one more thing - this vacation has helped me realize anew how deep and wonderful the love of God is and how nurturing being away from work can be. I'll go back with new energy, new insight and a deeper desire to find the ways that God is calling me to serve.

Another long day at work and I'm thinking about preaching this Sunday. I always find the task of preaching interesting. Sometimes I look forward to it, sometimes I see it as a burden and I resist it. Most of the time I read the text as soon as Sunday afternoon when the preaching and tasks for the current Sunday are finished. I find myself always thinking. I talk about the process of writing a sermon for me being much like making a good stew. I put the base ingredients in (text), then add other ingredients throughout the week (commentaries, other readings, illustrations, movies and books I've read or seen recently, activity in my daily life) and it all just simmers around. I stir it occasionally all week long. Then, at the end of the week I find that it's done and I have a stew (sermon) - sometimes rich, thick and deeply satisfying. Other times a little watery. Sometimes adequate but still lacking something. I don't know any other way of doing this preaching thing.

In my lifetime

All day I have been processing the historic vote of yesterday at the ELCA national assembly in Minneapolis. It is an amazing vote - one that I believed would happen eventually, but which took me by surprise yesterday. I cannot imagine the deep feelings that our brothers and sisters in the gay and lesbian community must be feeling. I also cannot imagine the disappointment that my brothers and sisters who are against this vote must be feeling. I am both humbled and amazed by the courage it took for us to reach this place in our history. I am honored to be serving a church that can address these issues, deliberate, search scripture, prayerfully consider one another's voices and then vote and reach conclusions that seek to include rather than exclude. God's grace comes to us all and in baptism we are claimed into the family of God. There is no exclusion - we are claimed by God and grace is ours. We don't earn it, we can't win it, we don't deserve it and we are all lost without it. I am thinking about a sermon for tomorrow and keep thinking of the gospel text from the lectionary and the words of St. Paul: "Lord to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life."

The Practice of Pedaling

I like the 'practice of pedaling' as a metaphor because I have been a long distance bicycler in the adult years of my life. I haven't done much the last couple of years, and at the end of this week I am going to attempt the Habitat 500 ride. 500 miles in a week is a bit intimidating at this time of life, with not a great deal of time to devote to preparation. The longest ride so far I've done is 40 miles - but I tell myself if I can do forty I can do sixty. We'll see! I am comitted to riding and I hope to ride all 500 miles. But the 'practice of pedaling' says it all because in order to do a longer ride, I have to practice on shorter rides. It's kind of like the Christian life - in order to make it in the long run we need to build a base of faith and study of Scripture now that can sustain us when the going gets rough. We hope to be successful in the Christian life, but there are simply no guarantees because we are human and I have seen so many whose faith seems impenetrable fall prey to things they thought themselves incapable of. It's good not to fool ourselves! So, we practice faith as we practice many other things in life. If we fail there is always redemption, reconciliation and the ability to begin anew. God doesn't give up on us no matter how much or how often we might give up on God! If you study scripture from cover to cover that is the overriding message - God's faithfulness. So, as I ride those 500 miles this next week my plan besides pedaling (a lot!) is to pray. I have a whole list of names in my congregation alone of people that are going through difficult things; cancer, treatments, surgeries, relationship issues, divorce, and many other things. So as I pedal and pray I will be seeking God on their behalf - to give them strength, courage, perserverance, patience and peace. The 'practice of pedaling' could possibly become a spiritual discipline!

Palm Sunday and Holy Week

The life of a minister is incredibly busy during Lent, Palm Sunday and Easter. I have been asked how I maintain the spirituality of it all, or if it just becomes business. Some of it is business to be sure, in fact much of it is the business of getting things done. I am driven to distraction by all the details of this time of year. However, on Palm Sunday we have a reader's theatre type reading of the passion story - I am narrator, and I find myself being filled with emotion during this reading. I tear up many times, I even get choked up at times, and it certainly hits me with full force as I understand at the spiritual core of my being the meaning of this story in my own life. That just happened this past Sunday, as it does most times I have publicly read the passion story. Yes, there are moments of deep spiritual meaning for me. I suspect as a minister I am not much different than anyone else who has faith, commitment, spirituality and depth. We are all touched at moments by God in our lives. We don't control it, we can't cause it, but it happens. Sometimes in the midst of the most menial tasks of life. Being a minister doesn't make me special, being a Christian doesn't make me special. God's love is for all that God created. I have found meaning in Christianity and in spirituality, but I don't demand that others find the same meaning in the same way. God is much too big to be contained in my small ability to understand God! And so during this Easter season I experience deeply a faith that is rooted in Christianity and that has grown in ways I haven't anticipated or sometimes even understand, because God is always the author of life - even my little life with all it's ups and downs. I am grateful for faith, because it sustains me when times aren't good and it adds another dimension to the joy I experience when times are good. "I believe, Lord help my unbelief "has long been a prayer I can relate to. I don't have all the answers, I don't even begin to understand sometimes why I am a minister, and yet I feel called to be here. What I know is that the mystery of God is the most compelling thing I have ever encountered in my life and I cannot see myself doing anything else.

Advent

I am trying to slow down and focus on the season of Advent - of waiting, longing for God, and looking inward. I am seeking quiet and silence, and yet my world seems so loud and busy! Advent is a conundrum for me - the whole meaning of the season against the backdrop of one of the busiest times of year for the church. Not to mention all the invites for parties, concerts, recitals, etc. ad infinum. Into the midst of the craziness of this world comes the Advent of God in the birth of a little baby - not surprising, since it is the birth of a child that stops most of us short in the miracle of it all. Last week I was stopped short by a visit to the emergency room and a two night stay at the hospital. Chest pain, strong and unbearable sent me by ambulance to the hospital. Treatment, tests and discharge. I call this type of event a time warp, because it threw off my days, my schedule, my busy life and forced me to be still. It also refocused my life on gratitude; thankfulness for good medical care, a loving husband, another pastor and a congregations prayers. So maybe the idea during Advent isn't to seek quiet and solitude, maybe it's just opening my eyes and heart to the reality that it was into this crazy world that God came to be with us in all times. Quiet, loud, sad, happy, depressing, and all the moments of life - not to seek out some special feeling of God's presence, but to be aware of it at all times. God is always in the midst whether we notice it or not - it is the promise of the Christ child, Emmanuel, God with us. I'm so grateful for that reality that reconciles the world.