tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9892152726087350942024-02-18T20:31:42.320-08:00nanawanderingI've wandered my whole life .... and will now put some of these meanderings down for others to read.nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.comBlogger67125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-81427883309832080162012-10-06T09:53:00.001-07:002012-10-06T09:53:20.298-07:00Growing<i>My youngest granddaughter just started kindergarten, and though it's exciting, it's also bittersweet. I have so much enjoyed being able to bring her to Nana's for sleepovers basically whenever it fits my schedule. Now, I will have to work a little harder to find those special times. She's grown up so fast! As all of my grandchildren have. My oldest granddaughter, sister to this little one, is now fifteen and driving. My other two are nine and eleven. Just doesn't seem possible! As I've gotten older, it seems that time just speeds up. I know that's not true, but it does seem to have gone fast! What dreams do I have for these kids? To grow up in a country that isn't as harsh as it seems right now! To find someone to share their lives with that treasure them, support them, and always look out for their best interests. For them to find work in their lives that fulfill them and engage their passion. For them to develop faith and spirituality; not just find a religion, but truly something that engages their soul. And I want them to find who they are and who they are meant to be; what their purpose in life is. That's alot, I know. But, they are my dreams!!</i>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-88296408390767781532011-11-14T17:15:00.000-08:002011-11-14T17:22:04.954-08:00Special Saturday<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);"><span style="font-style: italic;">Saturday was one of those lazy, nice days where it was warm enough to spend time outside. I was at my daughter's for the weekend to help with the kids while dad was hunting and mom had previous commitments. So, between shuffling kids from place to place and having an extra friend there for my grandson, I got to spend a few solid hours outside with my youngest granddaughter. She is such a joy to me, young and sweet, and a natural outdoors kind of child. We drew with chalk on the sidewalk, played hopscotch, walked in the neighbors field picking up corn left behind when combined, shucked the corn because 'dad uses it for the birds', drew more pictures, played more hopscotch, and then walked down the driveway and got the mail. I was getting colder as it was colder outside, and I had to talk her in to going inside, but we both loved the outdoor time. I had wanted to take a run, but this by far exceeded anything a run might have done for me. I am so grateful to live close to my family and to have these days where I can simply enjoy the kids and spend quality time with them. What a gift!<br /></span></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-6548672482476487472011-11-02T13:09:00.000-07:002011-11-02T13:19:32.567-07:00Living Life<span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);"><span style="font-style: italic;">As a person who has worked in the health care system, I have always been aware of how vulnerable life is. I don't remember being as aware when I was a young mother with young children as I have become over the years. And now, when my grandchildren are sick or experiencing health issues, my knowledge isn't helpful - and neither is my imagination! But this year I have gotten a deeper insight into what I have always known about life being vulnerable. I am a cancer survivor. Wow, that is the first time I have written that - and it's been seven months since my diagnosis and surgery. It was a scary time and going into surgery I knew I could come out with either negative or positive news - fortunately for me, my cancer was caught at Stage 1A. For those familiar with staging, 1A is the best possible scenario if you have cancer! I have been working on diet, exercise, sleep and enjoying life. But, I am approaching my recheck with scans, blood tests, and doctors examination and I find that when I'm honest with myself I am scared. I really feel good and I really want to be cancer free, but it is a reality that life is vulnerable and we never know. And so, I have been enjoying my grandchildren in new ways and am even more committed to being in their lives and loving them unconditionally. As my Mayo expert in oncology told me, "As far as cancer goes, you have the best case scenario and there is no reason to think it will return. Having said that, we both know we could walk out of here and die tomorrow in a car accident. There are no guarantees." So - I am a cancer survivor - and a person committed to appreciating life and those I love, especially my grandchildren!<br /></span></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-87541377906421569982011-10-26T18:26:00.000-07:002011-10-26T18:33:25.672-07:00Littliest Granddaughter<span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);"><span style="font-style: italic;">My youngest granddaughter is four years old, and at times when I have her with me for overnights it seems like she's much older! This past week she came for a visit and stayed overnight. The next morning she was getting dressed and told me to close the door so our dog Izzy couldn't come in because, according to her, "it's not appropriate for Izzy to see me changing my clothes". She cracks me up! It is such a joy to watch her and share time with her. She says "comfty" instead of comfy and I love the way she says it. She uses words like appropriate, interrupting, and told me her dolly was sick and had 'erlichiosis' - which is something she had in July (from a tick bite) and I thought she had forgotten the word! She loves clothes and changes them at least two or three times a day! But what I love most is the way she hugs me - she puts her whole self into it. She will take my face between her little hands and tell me she loves me - it makes life so awesome to be a Nana!!<br /></span></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-72025049086851514082011-10-20T17:53:00.000-07:002011-10-20T18:06:57.154-07:00Favorite Things<span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">It's interesting what kids enjoy and what their focus is. This week I had my ten year old granddaughter for an overnight. After I picked her up we grabbed some dinner then went to my obedience class with our dog, Izzy. My granddaughter observed the class and asked if we could take Izzy for a walk the next day. That night we made chocolate chip cookies together, the next morning we went for breakfast to IHOP, went to TJMaxx, took Izzy for a walk, later made muffins together and played a card game (which she won!). After dinner I took her home. I have made a practice of asking the kids on the way home what their favorite thing we did was. Out of all the things we did my granddaughter said taking Izzy for a walk! She did the training as we had Izzy on her training leash and did really well with her. She loved it! It wasn't at all what I expected, but I love that she chose it - even over shopping - which she loves. It was wonderful to spend time with her and when I took her home I also got to see her two sisters and brother. I love them all and can't get enough of them! </span></span></span><br /></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-75880718283524360432011-10-04T12:40:00.000-07:002011-10-04T12:51:12.292-07:00Being A Beloved Nana<span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span style="font-style: italic;">I haven't touched this blog for months, and today I realized I have not talked about being a "Nana" - despite the name of the blog! Being a beloved Nana for me has been something I have long aspired to - long before grandchildren were even a possibility. This deep seated desire came from the reality that I never knew my grandparents. My mother's parents and my father's mother all died long before I was born, and I never knew my father's father - I saw him only a few times during my childhood but he was cold and distant. I don't remember ever speaking to him. I had a very difficult and lonely childhood and beloved grandparents would have helped tremendously! So, through the years I learned about beloved grandparents by listening to the stories of my friends - and the love those friends with beloved grandparents had was not only spoken, but physically evident in how animated they became when they told their stories. I knew I wanted to be that kind of a Nana. When I went to meet my first granddaugther I began to cry as soon as I got out of the car at my daughter's home - I lived in another state and didn't meet her until a week after her birth, but I fell in love the first time I saw an ultrasound picture of her! I adore her; and now her two sisters and brother. I remember when my daughter was pregnant with her second child, who we knew was also a girl, and how worried I was that I wouldn't love her as much or feel the same as I did with my first granddaughter. The first time I held her I laughed out loud! How silly of me - love is expansive and I fell in love all over again! The two girls were with me when their brother was born and we were all thrilled and excited as we went to meet him. I was out of state for the birth of my youngest granddaughter, and when I got the call from her oldest sister I cried again! What a gift these children have been to me and how much joy they have brought to my life would be hard to describe. I will share some writings I have done over the years in future blogs. For now, since I am not currently employed in a parish, I am focusing on being a Nana! <br /></span></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-3119078380240500872010-03-14T14:37:00.000-07:002010-03-14T14:49:49.539-07:00Spring is coming!<span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-family: arial;">50 degrees today and sunny - it is an amazing thing to happen in Minnesota at this time of year, but gives me the excitement I feel each year that Spring indeed is on it's way! It has been raining a lot and most of the snow has been washed away - making way for the greening of the world around us. Of course, other places are green right now - but it's been awhile here. It is only March, and this is teaser weather - getting our hopes up just to see snow usually in the next two weeks or so. But, somehow it's not so hard to bear anymore because you know it won't last. You know that Spring really is around the corner and that the coldest, snowiest, harshest part of winter is over. I wonder what it would be like without these extremes of weather? I just enjoyed San Diego for a week and I wonder what it might be like to live there year round. Do people get tired of nice weather? I know I get very weary of Minnesota winters, and yet I love it in Minnesota. I love spring and the feeling of new life - summer and the lush green - fall and the amazing colors and cool days, but winter isn't my favorite. However, I love how the cycle of the seasons reminds me of all the cycles of our lives. How things never stay the same no matter how good or bad it is in the moment. Would I miss this pattern of season changes? Would I forget the many spiritual lessons this pattern of season changes has taught me and reminded me of? Would I even miss winter if I didn't live here any longer? </span></span></span><br /></span></span></span></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-56361624398548818302010-03-07T10:59:00.000-08:002010-03-14T14:36:33.994-07:00Vacation<span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Today is Sunday and I didn't go to church. Funny, most parishioners probably think that pastors always go to church! But I'm on vacation, and I even need to take a break from going to church. Church for me, or feeding my soul, isn't just dependent on a sanctuary or community of faith. God doesn't just reside within a building on Sunday morning. Walking along the ocean, watching the myriad of people all around me, listening to the sound of lapping water, trees, flowers, mountains, visiting the Japanese Friendship garden and sitting in their meditation space. All of these are things that nurture my soul and don't depend upon my community of faith. I am on vacation and it has been lovely. My husband and I have spent now six days in San Deigo. We did not rent a car. We are not trying to see all the sights - though usually in the afternoon we have gone somewhere - Seaport Village, Old Town, Balboa Park, Horton Plaza, Old Town Trolly Tour, and to a movie. We are not running around trying to see everyone we know. We are usually only out and about for a few hours before we return to our hotel. We sleep, read (I've read four novels), sit in the sun, have coffee, talk and just plain rest! Heavenly. It's a time to refresh and I have needed it! It's the season of lent and it's traditionally time to think about giving something up to focus on our faith and relationship with God. But as a pastor, I give up so much of my life that this lent I gave up a week of work to replenish my soul. This has helped me focus on my faith and God's love more than giving up one more thing - this vacation has helped me realize anew how deep and wonderful the love of God is and how nurturing being away from work can be. I'll go back with new energy, new insight and a deeper desire to find the ways that God is calling me to serve.<br /></span></span></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-47534278927059023622010-01-20T17:41:00.000-08:002010-01-20T17:46:27.980-08:00<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Another long day at work and I'm thinking about preaching this Sunday. I always find the task of preaching interesting. Sometimes I look forward to it, sometimes I see it as a burden and I resist it. Most of the time I read the text as soon as Sunday afternoon when the preaching and tasks for the current Sunday are finished. I find myself always thinking. I talk about the process of writing a sermon for me being much like making a good stew. I put the base ingredients in (text), then add other ingredients throughout the week (commentaries, other readings, illustrations, movies and books I've read or seen recently, activity in my daily life) and it all just simmers around. I stir it occasionally all week long. Then, at the end of the week I find that it's done and I have a stew (sermon) - sometimes rich, thick and deeply satisfying. Other times a little watery. Sometimes adequate but still lacking something. I don't know any other way of doing this preaching thing. <br /></span></span></span></span></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-53893109178264750862009-08-22T18:57:00.000-07:002009-08-22T19:04:03.876-07:00In my lifetime<span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-style: italic;">All day I have been processing the historic vote of yesterday at the ELCA national assembly in Minneapolis. It is an amazing vote - one that I believed would happen eventually, but which took me by surprise yesterday. I cannot imagine the deep feelings that our brothers and sisters in the gay and lesbian community must be feeling. I also cannot imagine the disappointment that my brothers and sisters who are against this vote must be feeling. I am both humbled and amazed by the courage it took for us to reach this place in our history. I am honored to be serving a church that can address these issues, deliberate, search scripture, prayerfully consider one another's voices and then vote and reach conclusions that seek to include rather than exclude. God's grace comes to us all and in baptism we are claimed into the family of God. There is no exclusion - we are claimed by God and grace is ours. We don't earn it, we can't win it, we don't deserve it and we are all lost without it. I am thinking about a sermon for tomorrow and keep thinking of the gospel text from the lectionary and the words of St. Paul: "Lord to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life." </span><br /></span></span></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-17755827264818207902009-07-08T10:02:00.000-07:002009-07-08T10:11:29.797-07:00The Practice of Pedaling<span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204);"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-size:85%;">I like the 'practice of pedaling' as a metaphor because I have been a long distance bicycler in the adult years of my life. I haven't done much the last couple of years, and at the end of this week I am going to attempt the Habitat 500 ride. 500 miles in a week is a bit intimidating at this time of life, with not a great deal of time to devote to preparation. The longest ride so far I've done is 40 miles - but I tell myself if I can do forty I can do sixty. We'll see! I am comitted to riding and I hope to ride all 500 miles. But the 'practice of pedaling' says it all because in order to do a longer ride, I have to practice on shorter rides. It's kind of like the Christian life - in order to make it in the long run we need to build a base of faith and study of Scripture now that can sustain us when the going gets rough. We hope to be successful in the Christian life, but there are simply no guarantees because we are human and I have seen so many whose faith seems impenetrable fall prey to things they thought themselves incapable of. It's good not to fool ourselves! So, we practice faith as we practice many other things in life. If we fail there is always redemption, reconciliation and the ability to begin anew. God doesn't give up on us no matter how much or how often we might give up on God! If you study scripture from cover to cover that is the overriding message - God's faithfulness. So, as I ride those 500 miles this next week my plan besides pedaling (a lot!) is to pray. I have a whole list of names in my congregation alone of people that are going through difficult things; cancer, treatments, surgeries, relationship issues, divorce, and many other things. So as I pedal and pray I will be seeking God on their behalf - to give them strength, courage, perserverance, patience and peace. The 'practice of pedaling' could possibly become a spiritual discipline!</span><br /></span></span></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-62966077982993337662009-04-07T10:15:00.000-07:002009-04-07T10:27:45.746-07:00Palm Sunday and Holy Week<span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family: lucida grande;">The life of a minister is incredibly busy during Lent, Palm Sunday and Easter. I have been asked how I maintain the spirituality of it all, or if it just becomes business. Some of it is business to be sure, in fact much of it is the business of getting things done. I am driven to distraction by all the details of this time of year. However, on Palm Sunday we have a reader's theatre type reading of the passion story - I am narrator, and I find myself being filled with emotion during this reading. I tear up many times, I even get choked up at times, and it certainly hits me with full force as I understand at the spiritual core of my being the meaning of this story in my own life. That just happened this past Sunday, as it does most times I have publicly read the passion story. Yes, there are moments of deep spiritual meaning for me. I suspect as a minister I am not much different than anyone else who has faith, commitment, spirituality and depth. We are all touched at moments by God in our lives. We don't control it, we can't cause it, but it happens. Sometimes in the midst of the most menial tasks of life. Being a minister doesn't make me special, being a Christian doesn't make me special. God's love is for all that God created. I have found meaning in Christianity and in spirituality, but I don't demand that others find the same meaning in the same way. God is much too big to be contained in my small ability to understand God! And so during this Easter season I experience deeply a faith that is rooted in Christianity and that has grown in ways I haven't anticipated or sometimes even understand, because God is always the author of life - even my little life with all it's ups and downs. I am grateful for faith, because it sustains me when times aren't good and it adds another dimension to the joy I experience when times are good. "I believe, Lord help my unbelief "has long been a prayer I can relate to. I don't have all the answers, I don't even begin to understand sometimes why I am a minister, and yet I feel called to be here. What I know is that the mystery of God is the most compelling thing I have ever encountered in my life and I cannot see myself doing anything else. <br /></span></span></span></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-921700787327712082008-12-08T10:48:00.000-08:002008-12-08T10:55:28.219-08:00Advent<span style="color: rgb(51, 0, 153);"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I am trying to slow down and focus on the season of Advent - of waiting, longing for God, and looking inward. I am seeking quiet and silence, and yet my world seems so loud and busy! Advent is a conundrum for me - the whole meaning of the season against the backdrop of one of the busiest times of year for the church. Not to mention all the invites for parties, concerts, recitals, etc. ad infinum. Into the midst of the craziness of this world comes the Advent of God in the birth of a little baby - not surprising, since it is the birth of a child that stops most of us short in the miracle of it all. Last week I was stopped short by a visit to the emergency room and a two night stay at the hospital. Chest pain, strong and unbearable sent me by ambulance to the hospital. Treatment, tests and discharge. I call this type of event a time warp, because it threw off my days, my schedule, my busy life and forced me to be still. It also refocused my life on gratitude; thankfulness for good medical care, a loving husband, another pastor and a congregations prayers. So maybe the idea during Advent isn't to seek quiet and solitude, maybe it's just opening my eyes and heart to the reality that it was into this crazy world that God came to be with us in all times. Quiet, loud, sad, happy, depressing, and all the moments of life - not to seek out some special feeling of God's presence, but to be aware of it at all times. God is always in the midst whether we notice it or not - it is the promise of the Christ child, Emmanuel, God with us. I'm so grateful for that reality that reconciles the world.<br /></span></span></span></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-90508900470647757482008-11-11T12:42:00.000-08:002008-11-11T13:11:07.549-08:00Winter is coming<span style="color: rgb(153, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Isn't it funny how we need to adjust to things? I have been sleeping for ten hours each the last two nights because I'm exhausted. I wonder about how the human body needs to adjust when the weather changes abruptly. It's become quite cold in the last two days and I think I need the extra sleep because of that. Of course, my schedule is demanding, but not more so than it ever is and certainly not more so than this summer. Somehow, I have a body that functions much better with sunshine and warmth than with darkness and cold. I guess we might call this seasonal affective stuff, but I simply don't like it! It affects my mood as well because my self-assessment is that I seem to be more negative than positive. And so in these days of early darkness and cold, I pray for the warmth that I got in touch with in those things outside myself that come through paying attention to the light of God in the world. I pray for the warmth of people, places, events and moments of clarity of God's presence in the world. </span><br /></span></span></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-44767243926869133642008-11-10T12:15:00.000-08:002008-11-10T12:23:13.951-08:00Chilled<span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Chilled is a word that says it all, really. It's Minnesota in early November, the weather is changing and I am chilled. Yet, even in the midst of this chill there is so much warmth. This morning I met with a committee to work on constitution changes that we are proposing for our church. The personnel chair and the congregation president and I met, and I am warmed by their presence. They are dedicated and focused on the good of this community of faith, which as a pastor warms my heart tremendously and I am so thankful for them and the gifts they offer "for the common good." Then, I met with a grief support group that began today and will meet for six weeks as we head into the season of Thanksgiving and Christmas which for many makes grief a particularly, well, grevious thing. Though the pain in this group was palpable, there was so much warmth. Warmth in the glow of the candles we lit to honor the grief and those we were grieving, but also in the hearts of those that even in the midst of their grief felt the love and compassion for their companions in this journey. On to lunch from there to experience the warmth of the person I ate lunch with - to hear her story and see her growth in her personal journey as she continues to seek to find her calling and passion in life. Even the warmth in the "comfort food" of mashed potatoes and gravy were a part of what helped me on the chilly day when I left the warmth of my home for the cold of the garage and car. I experience thankfulness, too, as I experienced the warmth of the heater in my car, knowing that in places in our world there are those who are chilled and seldom experience the warmth of a heater or a lovely home. Isn't it funny how when we take an experience such as being chilled and look at where the warmth is in life it can turn that experience on it's head? And, isn't that what God is always doing in our lives and in our world? Taking our ordinary experience and turning it on it's head? Leading us to new life, new depth and new appreciation for the gift of life and grace that comes only from God.<br /></span></span></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-60847868086154365052008-10-06T09:21:00.000-07:002008-10-06T09:30:39.328-07:00Vacation<span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family: arial;">It's that time of year again and I am seriously looking forward to vacation! My husband and I will leave on Oct. 13th for Palm Springs, and then we're also on our way to Sedona, AZ after that. We'll be gone about ten days. Last year we spent LOTS of time out and about on our vacation and I came home exhausted. My plan this year is to take some books to read, and to do a few things while we're there, but not to spend all our time running around. I need to really rest - to relax - take a walk each morning and enjoy just being. I do plan in Sedona to visit some of the "spiritual sites" - there are a few tours and I haven't decided what I want to do, but that draws me. I have a friend who has visited Sedona, so I'm going to email and ask her to give me some sense of what she thinks would be good for me to do. She and I participated in a two-year Spiritual Direction course and Sedona is an important spiritual place for her. Also, this year, I arranged vacation so I'll be home for a couple of days before heading to work and I'm not preaching on the Sunday I return! I'm so excited about that. Reformation Sunday will be my first Sunday back, and I look forward to participating - we have confirmation - but the Youth Family Pastor is preaching. I preside, and we both are involved in confirming the youth, but it's not like preparing the sermon. Bottom line for me is that I am looking for rest, renewal for my soul, and a reaffirmation of incorporating self care into my schedule when we return. Our lives are busy, and I am one of the pastors at a very busy parish. I need to work on building in that which nurtures my spirit and soul - particularly when it comes to being in natural environments. I have a very deep 'nature spirituality' and when I don't nurture that, I feel the difference in my personality, body and spirit. God's spirit is active in all the world, and I know God is present in every moment. I look forward to slowing down and really absorbing that over the next few weeks!<br /></span></span></span></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-76084054182371176462008-09-29T08:44:00.000-07:002008-09-29T08:53:39.533-07:00Relationship and Reconciliation<span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I just finished reading "The Shack", which is a novel a pastor friend, an Episcopal priest, suggested I read. Because it is a novel, it's a quick read. The story is centered around a man's life and the abduction and murder of his young daughter. That's a painful topic for any parent or grandparent to read, so I found it difficult. But, the experience of the trinity and the relational theology in the book resonated with me. There were things I loved and found myself resonating with, things that made me weep as the main character faced his own personal need for reconciliation, and things I didn't necessarily like. One of the things that I didn't like was the bad wrap the church got from the trinity - it was as if the church (institutional) was repugnant to them - but the institutional church is made up of all the people that God "is especially fond of' - so I didn't quite get it. The church is like all of creation - in bondage to sin. Does that make it somehow worse than everything outside the church? I've had to go away from the church because of my own judgmentalism just to find myself back in the church with newer understanding and greater appreciation that our congregations are full of hopelessly "saint and sinner" people. We are human and we all have our issues - that was clear in this book as well. Love was an abiding theme throughout the novel and I firmly believe that "Love" is the very essence of God and that we humans have built and perpetuated the systems of law and judgment. I sort of liked that being spelled out in the book. It is certainly a book that I want to "chew on" for awhile - since I just finished reading it this morning. These are just initial perceptions. I'm anxious to get a group together to discuss it. In fact, I am just beginning to put together a Women's Reading Group at church for a monthly discussion of a number of books over time. I love to read and it doesn't matter what type of reading we do - there is theology in it all. Now, if I could just find time for a movie club! <br /></span></span></span></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-80020481540972819222008-09-19T14:36:00.000-07:002008-09-19T14:44:12.857-07:00Reading<span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family: arial;">It's funny, that just after I talked about needing to find the time to read I got sick and spent a couple of days at home doing just that! I finished the novel, "Whistling in the Dark" by Leslie Kagan, and I read the Newberry Award winning book, "The Higher Power of Lucky" as well. I have started "The Giver", which is also a Newberry Award winner. I decided to read some of the Newberry books so I could pass them on to my 6th grade granddaughter and we could discuss them when she's gotten them read. What a luxury it has been to curl up and read. I haven't enjoyed the chills, runny nose, cough and general feeling of being run over by a semi however! I have also started an annotated bibliography so I can keep track of the many, many books I read and have a little synopsis of the book so it will spark my memory. This makes my sorting books a bit slower, but I am happy to be doing it. I should of started it years ago! I am also thinking that I will begin a reading group here at church - I already know at least three women who will be a part of it and I'm hoping to attract others. I find so much theology and evidence of God in life as I read, which of course comes out of my own theological perspective. I am a process theologian and believe that God is always active, always drawing us and all creation toward our good and the good of all. I believe God's work in the world is reconcilliation, and that God is always in the midst of all moments of all life. Life is never fully good or bad; it is a mixed bag. I saw a card once that said life is like a piece of music; some high notes, some low notes, but a beautiful melody just the same. I am so thankful for all the moments of my life and ministry!<br /></span></span></span></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-39849106352250421642008-09-14T17:25:00.000-07:002008-09-14T17:34:54.729-07:00Love to read<span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 51);"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:78%;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Today was filled and I spent the afternoon at home beginning to sort through my books in order to get rid of some. I have boxes of books that until recently were stacked in my garage. I understood as soon as I began going through them why I have so many; I love books and have a hard time letting them go. As I pulled many of the novels I have read out of boxes I felt a struggle with wanting to keep them! So, tonight I began compiling an annotated bibliography to track all the books I am letting go of. I should have began this bibliography years ago because I have read so many books that at times I have purchased a book and realized when I began reading it that I have already read it before. I love books - I have loved books for years. Novels especially - because there is so much reality, so much truth, so much life in the stories that I learn about life from reading. I think people feel more free to express reality in novels than they do in non-fiction. Somehow, non-fiction seems more controlled, or more edited - as if the person writing is telling us what they want us to know rather than telling us the truth. In fiction you can tell the truth - blatantly and bluntly simply because it is called fiction. As a theologian, I love fiction because I see God in all of life, in all relationship, and always in the world working for reconciliation. There is no place, no heart, no life, no part of creation that God is not present. Reading reinforces this for me. I love to read theology, but that's just thinking about God and then writing about what we think. Fiction is writing and then thinking about God in the context of real life. I have been a member of reading groups before and I love them. An opportunity to exchange ideas and thoughts about life and God from the perspective of the things we've read. I haven't had much time to read lately, but I am going to try and get back to reading because of the life and stories it gives me to draw from.<br /></span></span></span></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-56533826787426651782008-08-28T10:19:00.000-07:002008-08-28T10:28:45.718-07:00Summer Coming to an end<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);"><span style="font-style: italic;">Can it be that summer is coming to an end already - September 1st is right around the corner and autumn begins Sept. 22nd. This year summer has literally flown by and it has been busier than ever. As a busy pastor I always feel that when summer comes it should slow down because many activities are suspended for the summer. But then again, there are many activities that happen only during the summer. I think it's time to stop deluding myself - this life is a busy, relentless one and if I am going to have time for myself I have to MAKE it! Thus, the focus on conscious self-care. I haven't done well with that this summer and I am recommitting myself to focus on my spiritual needs and intend to find ways to nurture my spiritual self apart from my job. Intention is the key - and then finding some things that nurture me away from the community of faith I serve. Maybe it will get easier because we are finally getting a second pastor on board - our Pastor of Youth and Family ministry begins at the end of September and I am so excited! He's a young man, fairly newly married, and has charisma and sound Lutheran theological grounding. His wife is a teacher and has just begun her job in the nearby school district so they are in the "in between" of leaving one call and beginning another. Both of them are excited about the posibilities here and look forward to establishing themselves in this community. I like them both and look forward to building a strong pastoral team focused on the mission of the gospel. I'm also looking forward to preaching only half the Sundays of the year! I'm thinking also that a vacation in October is in order - time to get away and just relax; read some good novels, take long walks, have great meals with my hubby and spend time just talking and sharing life without all the distractions of the parish. Life is good! I'm enjoying my call and now will enjoy it even more fully with a partner to share ministry with. As this new season change comes it's really a metaphor for my congregation - we are now out of interim and heading into a new season for this church. I pray our leadership is effective and the presence of the Holy Spirit will guide and direct this church toward the fulfillment of the mission of the gospel.<br /></span></span></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-22274759288302517482008-08-13T13:27:00.000-07:002008-08-13T13:38:54.384-07:00God's faithfulness<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);"><span style="font-style: italic;">I just preached a sermon on Matthew 14:22-33 focused on Peter and the disciples in the storm and early in the morning Jesus comes walking across the water toward them. They're scared - who wouldn't be? Is it a ghost? Even after Jesus assures them it's him, Peter isn't convinced and essentially tells Jesus to 'prove it!' Once in a seminar given by Martha Stortz, professor of religion, she encouraged us to read a Biblical story from the perspective of all the characters in the story. This time I was curious about the perspective of the other disciples. In their minds, Peter wouldn't have been showing great faith - which is traditionally what I've heard about this text. In their experience they are trying to keep the boat from capsizing, they are scared, and they need Peter's help since he is an experienced fisherman. So, might they see Peter's actions as foolish, arrogant, selfish, or even downright stupid? Because if Peter goes over the side of the boat they'll also have to figure out how to fish him out of the sea! I see the action in this text, the faithfulness, on the part of God in Christ - not in Peter's action. God is always reaching to us whenever we are foolish, arrogant, selfish and stupid - God is always saving us. It's is God's action, not ours, and certainly not Peter's that constitutes faithfulness. And then I asked the question, "what happens when the last act of your life is a stupid one?" I proceeded to talk about my nephew Taylor, who died in a car accident - not wearing a seat belt and running a red light. It was stupid of him - and it cost him his life. And yet, Taylor had grown up in the faith, he believed in God, he was baptized, but the last few years of his life he struggled with many things. His faith, his sexual orientation, God, and the feeling he didn't belong and wasn't loved. He was deeply loved! By his family, by his friends and co-workers. Over 500 people attended the wake and funeral. But Taylor didn't love himself and his last act was a stupid one. Yet - God reaches to him and saves him. God draws him into his arms of mercy and grace and loves him so fully now that Taylor has to know he's loved. It isn't our faithfulness that saves us - even when we do our best - but especially when we're at our worst. It is God's love and faithfulness to us that saves us!</span></span><br /></span></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-37401291405043846292008-02-25T15:39:00.000-08:002008-02-25T16:44:25.172-08:00Sunshine!<span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family: arial;">This is the time of year when there is a day of sunshine and warmer temperatures and it feels as if life is new again, or at least it feels like a promise in the air that spring might really come! I feel like I've been "running" since Advent without any time to slow down. We're in the season of lent and moving toward Easter, but I'm feeling kind of tired. I do feel excited that the call committee is working toward the call of two pastors, and though they are early in the process there is light at the end of the tunnel! I came to this congregation a year ago and they have done a good interim process and now are ready to move ahead with the call of two pastors. It's been difficult to be the only pastor in such a busy place, but we wanted to try a youth/family interim position to see if two pastors were really necessary. Two pastors are really necessary! Two pastors will be called; one focused in worship and spiritual care and the other focused on youth and family ministry. The beauty is they will not be senior/associate, but rather a team with neither having authority over the other. Wouldn't it be great to have a youth/family pastor because that was their passion rather than because they are the associate and it's what they have to do? And so, we wait and see what good things will happen in this parish as they go forward and seek two pastors. In the mean time, trying to find time and ways to nurture my own spirituality will be the goal and focus for my life. I find myself feeling sort of depleted right now - hmmmm.... sort of that wandering in the wilderness feeling. How fitting for the season of lent. I'm waiting for the renewal of Easter and the freshness and warmth of spring!<br /></span></span></span></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-43460077425730600172008-01-25T15:10:00.000-08:002008-01-25T15:18:31.841-08:00Unexpected Miracle<span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);">I've always thought of life as a miracle - or at least I have since the birth of my first daughter. There is something awesome about giving birth and watching a little one grow. My first daughter is now thirty-three with four children, and I have been amazed by the gift of each of them. What a wonder they are - and what a wonder life is! That is even more imprinted in my mind because of the events of the last week. My lovely husband of three years had a heart attack early Monday morning. We are so grateful he is doing so well!! We have become aware and thankful for emergency rooms, helicopters, excellent surgeons and nurses, life saving drugs, and the support of family and friends, and most importantly the reality of God's grace and presence in all aspects of life. Life is truly precious. I have known this through working as pastor, chaplain, and hospice spiritual care coordinator. Somehow, when you come face to face with the possibility of death it becomes even more clear. My bishop called today and during our conversation he reiterated something he had once heard. He said that most of us live with the belief that death is a possibility and life is a certainty, when in reality life is a possibility and death is the certainty. Wow - it is true. How grateful I am today for the possibility of life - for the possibility for more time with my dear husband whose gentle, kind heart is stronger today because of the quick action that saved his life. </span></span><br /></span></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-232646153429806922007-11-02T09:16:00.000-07:002007-11-02T09:27:40.060-07:00Nurturing the Soul<span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family: arial;">Lately the most powerful messages I feel I am hearing in my life is the need for tending the soul. Not just a general tending of the soul, but a developing of practices for tending the soul. Within congregations we tend to program ourselves to death - spiritual death - because we don't build in spiritual practices. I have been at a week long class on intentional interim ministry and the most powerful part of the week for me has been the morning Bible study experience in small group. I've learned a lot of head knowledge, and have had good interactions with colleagues during the week, but the deepest experience has been the focus on listening to the Word of God. The simple reading of scripture deliberately together, and allowing time to process and then to share. My energy - natural tendencies - are intellectual and interactive, so I have to be deliberate about tending to soul care. And as a pastor, it has become clearer to me over the years that parishioners are not having deep soul tending experiences other than possibly at worship if it is done well. I'm thinking that during Advent I will offer four weeks of "Deepening our Spirituality through Prayer: Waiting on God" based on a lectio divina model, using candlelight, music, scripture, and silence. My desire as theologically trained and interested in spiritual depth seems many times in conflict with what is expected of me as parish pastor or interim pastor. I have the skills to do those things well, but my experience has been that most people seeking spirituality are outside the church and those inside the church aren't as interested in spirituality. Is there something wrong with that? It helped to understand some history that I learned in my conference last week about the establishment of church as we know it and how it needs to change as we head into the future of "post-Christian" society. For me, discerning what God is up to in my life and how I live out my call to serve will be the focus of my own Advent "waiting on God." <br /></span></span></span></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-989215272608735094.post-74034177333443249132007-11-01T07:23:00.000-07:002007-11-01T07:33:53.165-07:00Planting the Word<span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family: arial;">I have been attending a class all week which begins each day in small group Bible study at 8:15 a.m. Now, I have to tell you I am not a morning person - so I've really resisted this time, but I have dutifully risen each morning to attend. Our study is a focused model (African Bible Study) which is similar to lectio divina. I am part of a small table group of six who interact throughout this week together and our relationships deepen throughout the week. My experience is that most of the deepening for all of us happens at this Bible study. What I am always struck with is the way Scripture speaks to each of us where we are - in the midst of our lives and in the midst of what is on our hearts. A Scripture passage is read three times with reflection between readings - and sharing according to specific questions at the end of periods of silence. The whole process takes 45 minutes. Yet, the depth and breadth of the sharing is amazing. The way Scripture informs all of us is varied and wide ranging, and yet as each person shares the connections and understanding deepens and the Word is alive in a new way for all of us. At the end of the sharing time, each of us in the group prays for the person on our right based on the sharing and we end with the Lord's prayer. Wouldn't this be a wonderful model for faith communities? I'd love to give up preaching and break everyone into small groups in order to deepen the community involvement in scripture and in sharing at a deeper level with one another. Obviously, I can't do this, but I am thinking of setting up two different times (during the day and during the evening) during the season of Advent to practice this type of Bible Study together. Don't know how many people might be interested, but it would be a worthy practice to implement. I'd also like to find a small group of folks to meet together with and do this on a regular basis. This study has far and away been the best part of this week! <br /></span></span></span></span>nanawanderinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04878083605216417319noreply@blogger.com0